Letter XXVI (Foofri to Cordy)

Dear Cordy,

What a relief to write, knowing you’re finally safe and well. (You are safe and well aren’t you? I’m not just sniffing Trollblossoms and thinking everything’s fine when it really isn’t?) Not that getting to the state of safe and well has been easy. No, not for any of us, but allow me to tell my side of the story which will probably shed some light.

I told you I was doing some experimenting in Sean’s laboratory, which was quite a lot of fun to begin with. The first thing I did was to make myself a thought charm. Haven’t you always wanted one? Not terribly ethical, I know, but there are times when it would really be helpful to read other people’s minds. And I didn’t make it to actually use it, I just wanted to see if I could (although there are a few people we could sort of experiment on when I get home--for scientific purposes, of course).

After that, I got settled down to the task of summoning a wraith. All I had to do was consult the old spellbook of Sean's, insert the proper element cubes from his storehouse of goodies into the experiment chamber, and invoke the spell. A twist here and a tweak there and all of a sudden two glowing eyes looked straight at me through the chamber parameters.

With its eyes boring into mine, the gravity of what I had just done hit me full force. I had summoned a wraith. I had willfully and knowingly summoned a wraith! My past two terrifying experiences rose up not unlike wraiths themselves and threatened to smother me in a blanket of nightmarish memory. I froze to the spot, unable to do anything but gape.

The experiment chamber, on the other hand, remained calm and rational and reacted in precisely the way it had been programmed. It shut down. The wraith disappeared in a blink of light, leaving the chamber and my hopes in the same state, empty.

“There you are,” an annoying voice called out from behind me, “Pining away in loverboy’s lab, are we? How very touching.” Muse looked at the now dormant chamber, deducing what had just happened. “Well well, when the cat’s away… are you going to get it when he finds out! Not to mention your school masters at that lovely institution of higher learning,” he snickered. “You and your cousin are just two peas in a pod, aren’t you, invoking powers you know nothing about, but whoops, no Damorin Ardaya here to bail you out, is there?”

“How did you know about that?” I demanded. “Oh! You have been reading our letters all along!”

He gave me a nasty grin. “I thought I deserved some sort of payment when I started playing messenger boy. It isn’t in my original job description, you know.”

“Well, there isn’t much else for you to do! Your full capabilities are far beyond my needs right now.”

“Yes, taking on wraiths is the simplest of spells. Even a mere child can do it.”

“Oh, shut up!” I snapped, “Nothing happened, all right? And shouldn’t you be helping me instead of scolding? I was rather hoping…ooooh….” He waved familiar stationary in front of my eyes and the failed experiment was forgotten as I lunged for your letter.

“Uh, uh, uh,” he said as he held it out of reach.

I dropped my arms and sighed. “What now?”

“You know what. And it’ll be worth it…there are some very interesting newsy tid-bits in here about a certain Master of the Realm.” He waved the envelope tantalizingly close.

“All right,” I agreed desperately, ignoring his teasing. “You can teach me some spells when I’m done.”

“Five. Five spells.”

“All right! Five spells!”

“Five good ones,” he specified (in other words, five complex and boring spells that would take a long, long time to master).

“Ugh, yes! Just give me the letter,” I grunted as he held it up higher. “Please!”

“It would be my great honor and pleasure, milady.” He handed me the precious item and managed to keep most of the sarcasm from his voice.

Oh, my dearest! What a range of emotions I had while reading your letter! First to hear that you weren't coming out here after all because you'd been incarcerated! Then about Winterfast and his dirty rat of a grandson and then Ameliorene's unbelievable visit to your cell and then about Damorin and your confession of love! I went from fear to violence to disbelief to swooning in less than five minutes!

Most of all, I just felt horrible for being so helpless and removed from the actual happenings. I firmly resolved to somehow be of use to someone, somewhere in this adventure! I turned to Muse only to find him fast asleep, floating in mid-air. He looked so tired and haggard, I suddenly realized how hard we'd worked him and then I couldn’t help feeling guilty for all those times we called him wretched in our letters, especially knowing that he'd read them.

Although, blast the wretched, wretched creature, I needed help. I didn’t know if I could face what I intended to do alone. I may as well tell you what I planned. Do you remember when Sean first showed me the element cubes and I tried to get rid of my freckles? While I did it purely out of vanity, I noticed some interesting results when I created the elimination formula and I wanted to see what would happen if I altered the experiment a little bit involving wraiths. In short, I wanted to see if I could eliminate one permanently. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but if my experiment worked it would take care of the problem of mere banishment. The wraiths would never be summoned against us (or anyone else for that matter) ever again! After two encounters where they tried to kill me and steal my magic through terrifying and painful ways, I felt the prospect worthy of exploration, worthy even of great risk!

My problem, though, was that the chamber wouldn’t allow wraiths, so I had no danger-free experiment zone to try out my ideas before actually doing them. In addition to that, I was, quite frankly, frightened out of my wits to even try. Plus, the only being who might be able to help me was fast asleep at the moment.

I sat and contemplated. Or perhaps I just sat, I can’t really remember, but regardless, the conclusion I came to was this: I was tired of not doing anything. I don’t mean that I was tired of being in the Outskirts sitting on my hind quarters waiting to be allowed back into Realm society. I mean I was tired of being a nobody who lived in the shadows of both her beautiful and talented mother and her beautiful and talented cousin (well, it’s true). I was tired of being the person no one took notice of except as they bumped into her in the halls of the Academy or as she turned one’s millinery creation into ashes.

I wanted to do something significant. Not for notoriety, but for myself, so that when I went about my life going largely unnoticed I could reflect and say, “I took a risk, I did something for someone else, I sacrificed for the good of the world, I am a worthwhile person!” I wanted to prove to myself that I could do something. And if I wanted to do something, I had to face my fears. Which meant going ahead with my experiment--safety chamber or not.

Pulling the cubes from the experimental chamber, I set up the spell with great resolve and waited. And waited. And waited. I looked over at Muse, suspecting interference but he was still snoring loudly. I tried again. And again.

I had just about given up when the air in front of me began to shimmer and slowly, slowly, a pair of eyes, yellow and glowing, appeared within a misty form.

“What took you so long?” I demanded, my impatience driving the fear from my mind.

The wraith responded by shape-shifting into another Foofri, a mirror image of myself, freckle for freckle. It stared back at me with that expression my father finds particularly annoying and began to speak. “As a matter of fact, I was on another assignment, thankyouverymuch.”

I sort of wanted to slap it, but this was no time for self-introspection. “Oh, excuse me,” I said, “but I was under the impression that when a summons was made, a wraith hastens to obey.”

“I’m not surprised,” the Foofwraith replied haughtily, “That’s just the sort of idea you humans would come up with. That's why you're not worthy of your own magic. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a little appointment with a friend of yours in the Pass.”

“I have you under summons, you can’t just leave!”

“Watch me.”

“Wait!” I interrupted, desperate for information, “Who are you going to meet and why?”

“I’m not going to meet anyone. We’ve made an arrangement that’s going to feed us for a long time. Goodbye.” It disappeared, tripping over the hem of its dress on the way. Cheeky. I think it did that on purpose just to insult me. It worked, but I digress.

Was I ever panicked! I had no idea what the wraith meant except that you might be in a lot of danger, Troll guardians or not! “Muse!” I practically screamed. “Muse, wake up!”

“It’s not in my original job description,” he mumbled through an especially loud snore.

“Oh, yes it is!” I shouted, taking the liberty to reach out and shake him into consciousness.

“It’s pearl one, knit two, you idiot! Oh…OH!” He sat up and sneered at me. “What? What’s got your winged r’uc on a spit?”

“Wraiths,” I choked out. “Real wraiths. In the Pass. Cordy. We have to go NOW!”

The effect this had on Muse was startling. His usually indolent posture turned nervous as he began to fidget in earnest. “Wraiths,” he mumbled, his eyes wide, his forehead beading with sweat. “Wraiths in the Pass...” His mumbling faded as he wrung his hands and bobbed unsteadily. Suddenly he gave me a piercing stare. “Isn’t Lord Shimmerrobes there protecting her?”

“Right now? I don’t know, but-”

“And what can you do that he can’t?”

“I don’t know, but-”

“And just what are you planning to do if we go there?”

“I don’t know, but…” he didn’t interrupt me this time and there was a pause. “But I have to try and besides…I have you, don’t I?” I gave him the biggest, sweetest cow eyes I could muster.

“True,” he said, nodding his head reluctantly. “But there are things about the Pass you don't know.”

“What is it about you and the Pass? What aren't you telling me?”

But he only shook his head.

“Look,” I said. “If we don't go there now, Cordy could die. If she dies, I will die, too (figuratively, of course, but I didn't feel the need to share that with him). And if I die, your bond with me will be broken and you will go back into,” I paused, searching for just the right term, “you'll go back into the Permanent State of Not Teaching Any Spells Ever Again-ness for forever for eternity for infinity!”

His head snapped up and he looked at me with real fear in his eyes.

“That's right,” I said. “So you better gird up your loins and get over whatever it is that troubles you about the Pass and take me there right now!

He nodded his head slowly and said, “I can’t fight your battles for you. I can only advise and instruct.”

“That's all I'm asking. Let’s go!”

Darkness filled the sky when we arrived at the Pass. The thin moon struggled to send a few meager rays through the thick clouds. Muse levitated both of us quickly through the terrain until we spied what looked like a wraith huddled over a battered and broken figure. To my surprise, though, as we edged closer, I could see not one wraith, but roughly a dozen. A few of them gripped the figure on the ground while the rest argued.

I hissed to Muse, “Quick, make me invisible! I have to know what's going on!”

“Ha. Not in that dress you don't,” he said, pointing to my long hem. “You'll trip and land right in the middle of them and get yourself killed before you can even be useful.”
He just had to prey on my insecurities! “Oh fine,” I spat, “you go invisible and go and see what’s going on. And hurry!”

He disappeared before I finished talking so I only assume he did as I asked. I was so involved watching the wraiths and wringing my hands that I jumped when he reappeared at my side. “Hoo hoo, you’ve got yourselves into a pretty little mess this time. Your magi cousin is being kept somewhere in a labyrinth of caves. The entrance is there,” he pointed with his long, bony finger. “The troll sentry, that’s him on the ground. They’ve already killed him and now they just need a volunteer to go in and lure Cordy out.”

“Lure her out?” I demanded.

“Wraiths hate being underground,” he said slowly, relectantly. “Earth on all sides, you see. They won’t go under unless they absolutely have to. And they’re arguing about who’s going to go in and bring her out.”

“We have to do something!” I whispered hoarsely

“Look!”

We both turned and peered over the rock. The arguing had stopped and all eyes were on one wraith who had stepped apart from the group. I stared in horror as it transformed slowly into a perfect Foofri and stepped into the cave entrance. It must have been the same wraith I had summoned in Sean’s classroom. “They’re using me as bait!”

Muse nodded. “I’m sure she’ll follow it right out.”

“Of course she will! And then what will we do?”

“What can you do? Your magic won’t work properly, will it?” Again, he spoke reluctantly.

“Look, Muse. You said there are things I don't know about the Pass, but you obviously do, and they bother you immensely. You have to tell me!”

“It's nothing,” he said pleadingly and it was the first time I’ve seen him so humble. “It’s nothing.”

“Remember what I said about dying and infinity and all that?”

“Yes! Yes! But there’s nothing you can do, except maybe distract them for a little while somehow.”

“That’s IT?” I screamed, in my loudest whisper. “You, the under-appreciated, under-used great sorcerer’s muse. Keeper of hundreds of ancient spells, that’s all you have to offer me? ‘Distract them for a little while somehow?’”

He looked hurt, pained, as though he were carrying a great load. “I’m sorry, but yes.”

“All right,” I answered, more angry than I’ve been in a long time. “I don’t need you anyway. I have a terrific little spell that will eliminate the wraiths for good. At least, I will when I get it figured out. IF I ever get it figured out, you useless blob of...magical...detritus!”

He ignored the insult and grabbed by sleeve. “What makes you think you can possibly eliminate them?”

“An accident, actually, and I don’t know if my spell will work, but I have to try.”

“It won’t work! Human magic doesn’t work here anymore, how many times must I explain that?” He spoke to everyone and no one in particular, as though he had been saying it for a long time.

“What do you mean anymore? Sweetie, if there's a time to finally let me in on whatever little secret you're keeping, this is it!”

He scrunched up his face and pulled on his beard. “Argh! All right! You may as well know!” He continued ripping at his beard until little tufts of it began coming out. “I…I helped to create the wraiths!”

“Muse!”

“They're made of a combination of earth and element extracted here in the Pass and also,” he paused before he spat out, “also human magic.”

“But that means-”

“It was my master at the time,” he quickly interrupted. “He was low on skill but very high on vindictiveness and cruelty. He wanted a creature to do his bidding, something truly terrifying that would drain not only the life, but also the magic from his chosen subjects. When I turned out not to be that kind of creature, he tricked me into creating the wraiths to do it instead.

“He brought me here,” he waved his arm around. “Then he had me teach him to siphon specific elements and compounds from the ground to shape and form into beings. I wondered what he could possibly do with lumps of element until he began adding his magic to them. Not a spell, mind you, but his actual magic. He intended to pour as much of it as he could into his slaves, while still maintaining enough to absorb the magic his new servants would extract from his victims. The end result was two-fold. First, the wraiths were created; twelve, magic-hungry, insatiable wraiths. Second, the elements he siphoned from the Pass were living elements, parts of the land that should not be trifled with. And because he used his magic to do it, from then on the Pass reacted violently whenever human magic was used.”

“I don’t understand.”

“The earth is searching for itself, Magi,” he said, gravely. “It’s trying to undo the great wrong and become whole again. That’s why the wraiths don’t like going into caves or under ground. They can feel the earth pulling at them, trying to reclaim life-force.”

“But Muse,” I argued, “can’t you help it along? Can’t you undo it?

“I could,” he said soflty, “but, Magi, I need human magic to do it. I don’t interact with humans very often, in fact, until you summoned me with your mirror experiment, it had been nearly five hundred years.” No wonder he’s so crabby all the time.

“What about me?” I asked, “Can’t you use mine?”

His expression turned back into the nasty grimace I knew so well. “Yes, but there’s one detail you might not find very attractive.”

“Don’t tell me, I have to kiss you? Give up my first born child? Prick my ear lobe on a bun-snigger lancet on my twentieth birthday?”

“Something infinitely more simple,” he sneered. “My former master didn't live through creating the wraiths and you probably wouldn't live through destroying them.”

This revelation wasn’t too terrifying. I had already decided I was willing to sacrifice my own safety for the greater good. The jump to sacrificing my life from sacrificing mere safety was not a very big one.

I did have a few thoughts though. First, in the face of dying, my life flashed before my eyes. It was very dull; no loss there. Second, I thought of Father and all he had sacrificed for me so I could live to my full potential. Well, here was my chance. I thought of Sean and that we'd never have our moment of heartfelt confessions. You would tell him, surely. I thought of you and your love for Damorin and the wonderful life you had ahead of you, a life you deserved to live. What I’m saying is, my choice was a very easy one.

“I’ll do it, Muse,” I said. “I want to do it.”

He looked at me thoughtfully for a moment, weighing my conviction. “All right. You go distract the wraiths while I prepare.”

“What? How should I do that?”

“I don't care! We're in a hurry, remember? Think of your cousin!” He closed his eyes and began some deep meditation (at least that’s what it looked like, he could have been experiencing indigestion).

I crept down to the caves just in time to see the Foofri wraith shoot out of the entrance followed closely by you. As soon as you stepped from the shelter of the caves, the wraiths surrounded you.

Your face was amazingly calm and I would love to know what was going through your head. “Where is she?” you asked (as you well know) in that cold unrelenting voice of yours. I started to shout, but Muse stopped my mouth.

“Not yet,” he whispered urgently, taking a momentary break from his trance to warn me. “We don’t want them to know we’re here.” I bit my tongue until it bled and continued watching.

“Where is she?” you repeated. The Foofri wraith stepped into the circle with an evil laugh and revealed itself for what it was.

“Dead,” it said, lying. “I chose her form after we killed her, although it was difficult choosing between her and Master Ardaya, they both looked so peaceful in death.” They began to edge closer. “I doubt you will appear the same.” Taking advantage of your shock, they closed around you, grasping and clutching. I could stand by no longer.

“STOP!” I shrieked, running into the open. The wraiths turned from their task to see what the disturbance was and I don’t know if you were unconscious from the shock or from their touch, but as they paused, you crumpled forward in a heap. A thin blue outline seemed to grow from the top of your head and trickle its way down to your toes.

“A shield!” the former Foofri wraith exclaimed, furious. “Someone is projecting a shield remotely!” They all turned back to me and stared. “Get her,” one of them said.

“Now wait just a moment!” I exclaimed, my mind searching desperately for something to distract them with. “Why do you wraith creatures have to be so mean all the time, going around and sucking the life out of people? What kind of existence is that? That doesn’t help anyone! It doesn’t contribute to society and it’s hardly original. I can name half a dozen creatures that suck the life out of people--and that’s just off the top of my head--and do you think any of them are happy? Well, they’re not! They’re miserable! Is that what you want? To be miserable?”

“You there!” I continued, pointing to the wraith closest to me, “Have you ever had a job? Have you ever had a girlfriend?” It looked around, confused. “Don’t you want to fall in love and get married and have children and take yearly vacations in...um...sunny...er...” I trailed off as my mind scrambled to come up with a prime real estate spot, but by this time, all the wraiths were looking at me with odd expressions even for them. I hoped Muse was almost ready because my pathetic distraction ploy was really, really not working. As I searched for something else to say, the wraiths gathered around me, closer and closer.

“Perhaps Winterfast will accept a substitute,” one said and I screamed out in pain as he grabbed me by the arm. “When we finish this one,” another said, “the shield of the other will be penetrable and we’ll have both of them for feasting. And perhaps now,” it said, placing both burning hands around my neck, “we can settle an old score.” The pain of his touch was excruciating. I realized then that I was going to die and the sheer wastefulness of it irritated me - that I was sacrificing myself without benefit to anyone, least of all myself. The thought gave me enough strength to cast one final spell, with or without Muse.

Opening my mind to the physical connection between myself and the creature assaulting me, I called upon the elements that formed him until I could feel them responding. Had I not been in such dire straights, the experience would have been fascinating. The wraith’s physical composition was extremely volatile. Particles bounced over and around each other as freely as water eddying in a river. No wonder they could shape shift so easily! Fortunately, this also made the structure easy to manipulate. I waited until I had a firm grasp on each element, then, as much as I was able, I whispered the incantation I wanted to try in Sean's chamber. The hands on my neck tightened, but it was too late, the spell had been cast.

I could feel the threads of the spell stretching and twisting, struggling to take form and suddenly, the ground beneath me rumbled and heaved in alarm. The wraith fell back violently, but my neck still burned and then a new sensation grew from somewhere inside me. I was being torn apart.

If I had to choose between being torn apart and being strangled by a wraith so it could suck the life out of me, I would definitely go with the wraith. I could at least think when he was touching me, I still had some semblance of identity and being. With the magic tearing me apart, I lost all consciousness of self.

And then I gained it back, all in a rush. Muse screamed in my ear, “Keep the spell stable, I’m trying to channel your magic!”

The relief was immense as he funneled my magic into his own body and poured it into the Pass, feeding the ground its long lost pieces. The wraiths flickered and writhed as their existence melted away. One of them burst into a shower of glowing droplets which seeped into the earth. The ground grew more and more steady with each exploding wraith and began to glow with a soft light. The light multiplied and spread until the whole area crackled with energy. “It’s working, Muse!” I shouted, “It’s working!”

But he wasn’t listening. While I had been watching the phenomenon of the Pass reclaiming its own, Muse had supported the bulk of the power of the transformation within his own body. He trembled with the strength of it, his hair and beard turning white, his face tight and red.

“Muse!” I cried. “Stop! The earth has enough power to finish.” It was true, while everything looked basically the same as before, the feeling in the air was completely different. The tension was gone. The sensation of suppression was gone. Everything was alive and vibrant.

“Muse,” I said again. “Muse?” He lay on the ground now with his eyes shut tightly. His breathing was unsteady. I knelt down by his side and lifted his head onto my lap. “Muse, you did it. You righted your wrong.”

His eyelids flickered open for a moment. “They’re all gone then?” he gasped.

“Yes, they’re all gone. Never to return.”

He smiled faintly. “Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.”

“Just so.” I pulled off his cap and stroked his snowy hair.

“Good-bye, Foofri,” he said, using all his strength to look up at me. “It’s been an honor.”

“Silly,” I said, tears springing from my eyes, “You’re not going anywhere.”

“You’re very kind…always have been, even though you called me wretched.” He winced as a spasm of pain shot through him. “You meant it as an endearment, didn’t you?”

“Of course I did! But this talk is nonsense.” I reached down and took his hand in mine. “You don’t think you’re…I mean, you’re not going to die!”

His fingers barely moved against mine. “I gave everything that was in me to redeem myself. I have nothing left.”

“But your magic!” I sobbed.

“Gone.”

“No, no, I can feel it, Muse, it’s still there!”

“Yes, my dear.” He squeezed my hand gently, still laboring for breath. “It’s inside you now. Take care of it. Be a better steward than I was.” His energy was draining away quickly.

“No, Muse, wait!”

“Please,” he said, silencing my protests. “I'm so tired. Please, let me go.”

I pulled his little body into my arms and rocked him gently. “I will never forget you.” He smiled again, pleased, and became still.

“Magi Montphish.” A voice spoke from behind me.

I turned around to see Damorin Ardaya standing there with you in his arms. This was no time for mourning. You were still unconscious, still surrounded by pale light. “Master, thank goodness!” I said, wiping tears. “I can't explain everything that just happened, but you’ve got to help Cordy immediately!”

“I assure you, she’s perfectly fine and in perfect hibernation. If I can get her back to my lab, waking her is a simple process.” I was so relieved! I noticed then how weary his eyes were, how haggard his appearance, his posture. What had he just gone through? Where had he been?

“You shouldn’t have any problem transporting back to the Realm, Master,” I said. “Magic is functioning once again in the Shazar Pass.” Thanks to Muse, I added in my head.

He looked around, testing, feeling. “Yes, I see. Will you excuse me then? Unless you’d like to come along. When she awakens, I don’t think there’s a face she would welcome more than yours.” If he only knew, dearest.

“I thank you, but no, there’s something I need to do before I come home. Tell her I’ll see her soon.”

“I will,” he replied, turning to go.

“Oh, and Damorin?”

“Yes?” He turned back to me, slightly impatient.

“Thank you,” I said. “Thank you for everything.”

He smiled wryly. “You’re welcome.”

After the two of you disappeared, I looked back down at Muse’s face. He was peaceful in death, the weight of hundreds of years of guilt washed away. As I wept with sorrow and relief over his still body, he grew lighter in my arms until he disappeared entirely. I stared down in amazement.

I had set out to do something great and he had gone and done it for me. I couldn’t grudge him that, it was his burden to bear. Besides, I did feel some measure of accomplishment knowing that I had helped in my own small way.

Dearest, please forgive me, but I’m not quite ready to come home yet. I can’t believe I’m saying that, but so much has happened and I need time to come to terms with it. You do understand, don’t you? I will come back as soon as I’m ready. I just need a little time.

Bless you, dearest, in all that you do. And please, please, write me soon.

Love,
Foofri