Letter XXX - Fin (C.D. to F.M.)

My dear Foofri,

I suppose that since you insisted the only thing you wanted for Christmas was a letter detailing my final part in last summer’s adventure, I will have to give it to you. But in exchange for sending this to you on your travels, I want an authentic Nirabian dance costume. Also, if you can find it, a flying carpet with a pattern of camels.

After that disastrous interview with Damorin, where his not-so-brilliant solution for disentangling our magic was to put a freezing magical void between us, my first recourse was to write you that half hysterical letter, I discovered that without Muse, I did not know how to send a letter to the Outskirts, or even find out if you still were in the Outskirts. So I went to bed. I was determined to stay there either until you came home or the world ended. Whichever came first.

But after two days of moping beneath the blankets, I found, first, that I was starving (my bedside supply of munches running out midway through the second day), and second that I really needed a bath.

Giving up self pity as a bad job, I set about making myself presentable and proving to the world that Damorin Ardaya meant nothing to me, or at least that I could easily forget him, just as easily as I would cope with the new conditions of my magic.

That last, at least, proved to be much more difficult than I had anticipated. It wasn’t that I’d lost any of my full power, the spell had restored that, but every time I used magic it was like plunging into an ice bath. I could endure it for the first minute, but after that I started shaking, my focus wavered, and the spell flew to pieces.

At least I got my staff back from the extended holiday they’d been on ever since I’d gone into protective custody. I practically fell on Cook’s neck and wept tears of pure joy. I also gave her the new munches recipes I’d gotten from Lucenza (which she accepted with some grumbling about being restricted in her creative field—as though the infinite variability of the munch were not enough to occupy a culinary genius for a lifetime!).

It was shortly after this that Jamin knocked on my front door. I told the butler to let him in, since the sooner we cleared up the little misunderstanding between us, the better.

“Maera, darling!” he exclaimed, striding toward me with his arms open.

I crossed my own arms and glared at him. “Shut up and listen, rat fink.”

He froze, gaping at me in shock.

“I am not, never have been, and never will be in love with you. The only reason I kissed you was because I needed to convince you to help me save the emperor. But you’re a liar and a cheat and you helped try to kill me, and if you ever come here again, I will send you back to the Outskirts in a box. Do you understand?”

“But you love me!” he protested, as though he hadn’t heard a word I’d just said.

“No. I. Don’t. I was pretending in order to manipulate you. That’s a concept you should be familiar with. And frankly, you’re not even my type. I prefer intelligent men, and you’re, well, not. By the way, you kiss like a fish with cement lips.”

I think it was that last bit that finally got through to him, and his face crumpled. “But what will I do?” he wailed.

“Without my money?” I asked cynically, then sighed a little. I found that even to a rat fink I couldn’t maintain that level of brutal insult. “Apparently you have a mother who, Jalwa bless her heart, still loves you. I suggest you go home to her.”

“But—”

“Go!” I ordered, pointing at the door. “Unless you’d rather have me send you out. In a box.” I made a circle with my two hands and showed it to him. “About this big.”

He went.

On the evening of the very same day, Sean also knocked at my door. I was better pleased to see him than his brother, and we had tea in the library. Our talk was a little stilted, and I suppose I was looking rather haggard, because he kept giving me worried looks in the conversational blanks.

“What?” I finally asked.

“Nothing,” he said hastily. “It’s just that you look a little tired.”

I slumped down in my chair. “I feel like a caravan of troll wagons ran me down,” I admitted, and then, to Sean’s dismay, I burst into tears.

He knelt by my chair and offered his handkerchief, looking half panicked. “Don’t cry,” he pleaded. “All you need is a little rest. Maybe you could take a vacation.”

I was too proud to tell him the real reason I was in such a state, so I settled on you as a scapegoat. “Foofri’s never coming home. And I don’t know how to send a letter to her in the Outksirts!” I wailed.

“I can take it for you,” he immediately offered. “I’ll be seeing her in a couple of days.”

To his relief I managed to stop crying. “Really?”

“Of course,” he promised, and I ran upstairs to get my letter. I also retrieved a copy of the Dorthwany Daily News, the edition with the front page headline that read “Young Magi Slays Wraiths, Saves Realm.” It also had your school picture in full color with the caption, “Foof the Slayer.”*

“I promised Foofri I’d make sure everyone knows she’s a hero,” I said, a little proud that my leak to the Daily had had such a dramatic result.

Sean barely glanced at the paper before setting it on the floor by his chair, so I supposed he had already seen it. Much to my annoyance, he forgot to take it with him when he left a few minutes later.

However, I did decide to take his advice and get out of town for some peace, quiet, and comfort. Obviously, there was only one place I could go.

Grandmother Coqui welcomed me with open arms, and I willingly let her pamper and coddle me. The morning after I arrived, a large envelope came with the morning post. Grandmother opened it, examined the legal looking documents, and said, “My dear, it’s all settled.”

“What is?” I asked.

“Your guardianship. Everything has been transferred to me, so I can look after you until you turn twenty. Of course, that’s only two months away now.”

“I didn’t realize my guardianship was being transferred,” I mumbled, looking down at my plate.

“Didn’t Master Ardaya tell you he came to see me?” I shook my head, so she continued, “Since the danger surrounding the Suldan Stones has been eliminated, he thought it best the responsibility be passed to one of your own family. Besides, it would be difficult for him to continue as your guardian in Nirabia.”

“Nirabia!” I exclaimed.

“Yes, dear. He’s the new ambassador. Such a handsome young man! I think he’ll look well in those dashing desert costumes.”

Looking back, I realize she was fishing, but at the time I was only aware of my own misery. “Oh yes, he’s very handsome,” I sneered, “and arrogant, and overbearing, and a complete flirt. Did you know he broke the heart of the poor late princess with his careless dalliance? And he’s perfectly notorious for his conduct at the Anniversary ball. He lays in wait for unsuspecting young ladies and practically assaults them.”

“How dreadfully shocking,” said Grandmother, wincing as my knife scraped against her best china.

I spent the rest of the day alternately fuming and sulking, telling myself how much I hated Damorin Ardaya. Not until evening did I calm down enough to at least pretend to take myself in hand. “If he is glad to wash his hands of you, then you shall be glad to wash your hands of him,” I told myself.

As the first step toward this metaphorical scrubbing I tried, once again, to regain control over my magic. I thought my previous attempts might have been too ambitious, so I chose a very simple heating spell. I also hoped that the nature of the enchantment would naturally counter the backlash of the separation spell.

Shutting myself in Grandmother’s workroom, I filled a beaker with water and began the incantation. At first I felt a flush of warmth on the glass, but then the inevitable chill crept over me. My hand shuddered convulsively; the beaker slammed against the counter and shattered. I looked at my bleeding hand and thought that it was lucky I hadn’t been heating anything but water.

I was still shaking from the effects of the magic, so I suppose that is why I didn’t pay much attention to the footsteps that entered the room or the low exclamation of alarm. I assumed Grandmother had heard the crash and had come to see whether I was all right.

“It’s just a scratch,” I tried to say through my chattering teeth.

A hand took hold of my bleeding one, and it didn’t belong to Grandmother. I looked up at Damorin, shocked, and he, in his turn, appeared alarmed. “Cordelimaera, what’s wrong?”

“This wretched separation spell, what do you think?” I snapped as well as I could. I did feel warmer, although whether it was from surprise or anger or something else, I didn’t know.

He looked confused. “What about the separation spell?”

“I suppose working magic in a snowdrift is second nature to you,” I said bitterly, “but as a warm blooded creature, I’m having trouble adjusting.”

“You feel cold when you work magic?” he clarified.

“You mean you don’t?” I demanded, outraged that he hadn’t been suffering as I had.

H shook his head. “I must have wrongly calibrated the spell.” He reached for me and I stepped backward, running into the work table. It wasn’t that I didn’t want him to touch me. The problem was that I wanted it far too much. His presence was making it hard to remember that I hated him.

“I’m going to have to touch you to break the spell,” he said tightly.

Of course there was no protest I could make to that, but the thought of him kissing me again was both terrifying and exhilarating. I would make a fool of myself—I would either cry or throw my arms around him and never let go—but I suddenly didn’t care. I only wanted to feel his mouth on mine, for whatever reason.

But he only lifted my wounded hand with a delicate touch and murmured the words that would dissolve the enchantment.

And like morning sun on frost, the dark void that had surrounded my consciousness melted away. I groaned in relief, leaning back against the counter as I reveled in the sheer well-being that flooded through me. “Thank you.”

“I’m sorry. I had no idea the spell could produce such a side effect. You should have told me.”

I belatedly remembered I was very angry with him and said coldly, “We weren’t on speaking terms.”

“No,” he replied, turning away. “And I’m afraid I must now distress you further.”

“What is it?” I asked, my heart sinking, although I couldn’t imagine what more he could do to hurt me.

He remained unresponsive for a moment and then I saw his shoulders stiffen and he swung back to face me, his expression frozen. “I’ve forbidden Benjamin Winterfast to come near you. And I made it clear to him he won’t like the consequences if he disobeys me.”

“Oh, is that all,” I said, relieved. “Not that it wasn’t high handed and dictatorial, especially considering you aren’t even my guardian anymore, but it’s not half as bad as some of the other things you’ve done.”

“He’s gone,” Damorin said carefully. “You won’t see him again.”

I rolled my eyes. “Thank Jalwa.”

Damorin looked utterly bewildered, as though some foundational axiom of the universe had been proven untrue. “You’re not upset?”

“Why would I be? I sent him back to his mother days ago. The poor woman apparently still harbors some grains of affection for the rat.”

“But you’re in love with him!”

I was stunned and enlightened; ashamed and furious that he had thought such a thing of me. For one ghastly moment I thought I might actually swoon, like some pathetic Dorthwany Daily heroine.

But I rallied and chose shouting over fainting. “In love! With Jamin! How could you possibly insult me like that! I don’t know which is worse—assuming that I would fall in love with someone who at his best is silly and selfish, or believing that I could love any man who proved to be a base coward, a traitorous liar, and a complete rat!”

“You knew all of that when I saw you kiss him, and heard you tell him that you loved him,” Damorin flung back.

Of course it would have been that moment he saw, when he used the Suldan Stones to find me.

“Oh yes, of course,” I said, sarcasm running off my words in rivers. “Because I had the blinding revelation that I loved him while he was holding a knife to my throat!” I was waving my hands wildly and practically hopping up and down in my fury. “What else was I supposed to do? You were monopolizing our combined magic, and the emperor was about to be slaughtered. Believe me, if I’d had any option other than seducing Jamin, I’d have taken it. And how you ever got appointed Master I don’t know because clearly, you are an idiot!”

I at last ran out of breath and words, so I stopped, panting and glaring at him with all my might. His face had gone chalk white and he looked as though a troll had punched him in the gut. My conscience winced, but no matter how stricken he looked, I wasn’t taking it back. He was an idiot.

“The last time I saw you,” he began in a low voice that I almost had to strain to hear, “you tried to tell me something. I thought you were about to say you were in love with Jamin, and I stopped you. I never heard what you actually wanted to say.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I muttered, looking down and turning away.

“Cora—”

“For the last time, don’t call me that!” I shouted, spinning back around. “Nobody calls me that except Grandfather! You want to be my new Grandfather?”

And, at last, he was shouting back. “No! I don’t want to be your grandfather, or your guardian, or your advisor. Jalwa help me, I fell in love with you the first day you walked into my office. And since then, I’ve been forced to do everything that would make it dishonorable for me to pursue you.”

“Oh,” I said in a tiny voice. Almost everything suddenly made sense. I almost believed that he meant it when he said he loved me. “I kissed you in the Pass and you pushed me away.”

“I thought you knew how I felt—I’d made it obvious enough—and that you felt sorry for me.”

“That was a very silly thing to think,” I whispered, stepping forward.

“Was it?” he asked, looking miserable and hopeful at the same time.

“I can’t believe you thought I was in love with Jamin.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, but looking less miserable.

I wound my arms around his neck. “This doesn’t mean you’re through groveling. I expect at least …” I was momentarily distracted as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. “At least six more apologies,” I continued determinedly. “Also chocolate. And …” His face was very close to mine now, and I lost focus completely.

“And?” he prompted.

I closed my eyes. “Just kiss me.”

“I’m sorry I was a fool,” he whispered, brushing his lips across my forehead. “I’m sorry I was so jealous I couldn’t see what was right in front of me.” His mouth traveled down my cheek to my jaw line, and made me shudder. “I’m sorry I didn’t just tell you the truth. I’m sorry I doubted you. I’m sorry I’ve wasted so much time not kissing you.”

Not caring that he was still one short, I turned my face and stopped his apologies.

Some time later, I found myself leaning against his chest while he healed the cut hand I had forgotten about. Despite my very comfortable position, I couldn’t ignore the sinking sensation I felt as Damorin’s use of magic pulled away my own power.

“This is awful. We can’t live like this.”

“Sorry,” he murmured, kissing my healed hand and making me feel better all over. “I should be able to modify the separation spell to get rid of the side effects.”

I looked up at him innocently. “But such experimentation might take weeks.”

“Not real—” he began, but I put my fingers over his mouth.

“Weeks,” I repeated. “And with your magic in such a tangled state, you can’t possibly fill such a demanding position as ambassador to Nirabia.”

Understanding crossed his face. “It might even take months.”

“I knew you would agree. I don’t know what Lastra was thinking when he appointed you.”

“I begged him for it,” Damorin confessed. “I couldn’t stand being so near you but unable to do anything about loving you.” I admit I wasn’t entirely sorry that he had suffered.

He had to go back to the City then, to hand in his resignation as ambassador. “Hurry back,” I pleaded, and he did.

I think I’ll end my story here. There is such a thing as too much information, even between cousins.

Merry Christmas, dearest!

Affectionately yours as always,

Cordy

P.S. If possible, learn how to belly dance so that you can teach me. We could do an act at the next International Cultures Appreciation Night at the Bunsnigger arena.

P.P.S. Damorin was looking over my shoulder as I wrote the above. He says that as a liberal minded man, he has no objection, but he’s afraid the idea might set Sean off on a lecture about the abuses of cultural diversity.

*Despite urban legend claiming Foof the Slayer was a member of Jalwa’s war band, the name indubitably originated with the Dorthwany Daily’s imaginative captioning. A surprisingly accurate history of the ensuing mythologizing of the wraith slaying can be found in the handbook of the Girl Scouts of the Imperial Realm, which organization adopted Foofribelle as inspiration and role model.

Editor’s Note:

I would like to add my thanks to Solsticia’s. I deeply appreciate every person who has taken the time to read Foofri and Cordy’s letters, and especially those who have made the extra effort to let us know they were reading. This story is dear to our hearts, and sharing it has been richly rewarding.

A very happy holiday season to you all!

Best wishes,

Dianarama Ottorius

Imperial Magic Academy

Letter XXIX (Foofri's final letter to Cordy)

Dearest,

Well, here we are at the end (I hope) of our adventure. Considering my own actions, I can’t exactly scold you for taking such extremes as you chronicled in your last dispatch, but I can say I am vastly relieved at the final turn of events. Sadly, not everything is resolved satisfactorily. 

When you and I parted ways in the Pass, I was decidedly hopeful that everything would turn out. I'm still hopeful, but please allow me to tell you what happened.

After you left in Damorin's arms and Muse passed into what I hope is a very happy life beyond, I dragged myself over to Arturo's to see if there was anything I could do. I don't know how long I sat there, staring helplessly at his lifeless form. Finally, Lucenza and a group of trolls came out to collect his body. She and I stood there with our arms around each other, sobbing. After a while, she pulled me into the cave and I was mothered and coddled until I fell asleep in a corner over a bowl of soup I couldn't quite choke down.

The next morning, I awoke to the sound of troll scouting parties heading out in all directions. When I asked what was going on, they explained that something unusual had happened in the Pass the night before and that they needed to check the boundaries. I realized I hadn't told anyone what had taken place the night before. I tried several times to approach one of the leaders about it, but I was kindly swept aside and shushed like a little child by some of the women trolls.

Finally, I was led outside where a group was just departing for the city. They wanted me to go with them, but the violent recoil in my stomach let me know I wasn't ready to go home yet. I wrote out a quick letter to my father (and Lastra, apparently) explaining that I was going back to the Outskirts for a few days to take care of some personal matters before coming home. Another group of trolls escorted me right to Sean's house and left me on the doorstep with an enormous packet of food and an affectionate pat on the head.

In some ways I felt completely isolated from the rest of the world (which makes sense since I was...completely isolated from the rest of the world), but I didn't feel lonely. Living in Sean's house was actually rather comforting for me. Everything below the workroom functioned without magic; it was perfect for my current state. I cooked, washed, dusted, and mended--all by using only my own two hands. Normally, I'd have been annoyed, but now I was grateful. Except I knew I could not go forever without using magic.

See, I could feel Muse's magic bubbling inside me. While half of his life force had been sucked dry to destroy the wraiths, the remaining half—his magic--had channeled into me. It was a power I did not understand and did not know how to use. I couldn't feel the edge of it, to gauge where it began and ended. In short, it seemed endless and terrifying.

After a few days of stalling, I stood in Sean's workroom, my face and hands pressed against the glass of the experiment chamber, trying to muster up enough nerve to step in and unleash my new powers. Or even my old ones. Or anything at all. I sighed loudly and stared into the empty chamber.

Suddenly, I felt another presence in the room with me. I whirled around and gave a shriek when I saw a figure standing in the door. “Sean Valerian,” I yelled, “don't you knock?”

“In my own house?”

“What if I'd been...I don't know, indecent or something?”

He gave me a skeptical look. “In a laboratory?”

“You never know,” I said defensively. “Besides, you scared me to death.”

“Sorry,” he said, “but it's not as though you were in the middle of a spell. Surprisingly,” he muttered. “I thought you'd have depleted at least half of my spell components by now.” He walked into the room and tapped the glass of the chamber with the back of his knuckles. “No anti-freckle charm in the works?” he said with a slightly mocking tone.

I raised my chin slightly. “I told you I wouldn't.”

He pursed his lips. “No underwear transformation?”

“I already know that one,” I said, wondering where he was going with this line of questioning.

“No wraith annihilation?” His tone turned from mocking to bitter.

“That's been done, too,” I said coldly, feeling bewildered and unhappy. Whatever I expected from our reunion, it wasn't this. I had imagined a number of scenarios, all of them involving a bit (or more) of sentimental sap, so when he popped up out of nowhere scaring me and then treating me so strangely, I didn't know how to react. He didn't seem to notice.

He leaned against the chamber and crossed his arms. “Are you aware that you're desperately needed back in the city?” he said.

I shook my head.

“Well, you are. So get your things together, I'd like to leave within the quarter hour.” He turned to go down the stairs and I finally found my voice.

“Wait! I...I'm not ready to go back yet,” I stammered.

He turned around. “Why not?”

I longed to confide in him, but his harsh manner held me back. “I'm just not ready,” I said weakly.

He gave his disapproving little sound and reached into his pocket for a crumpled letter. “I was hoping you could read this en route so we wouldn't have to waste time, but apparently you need a little extra motivation. Cordy needs you now, Foofri. She needed you days ago. And we've got a stop to make on our way so we need to make haste.”

“Cordy knows why I'm not ready. She understands.”

“Yes, but she's suffering.”

“She's not the only one,” I countered, thinking that if he knew what I'd been through he might afford me a little more sympathy and consideration.

“Yes, but Cordy's my relation,” he explained.

“And I'm...?”

“Not,” he said, again with bitter the tone.

“I see,” I replied numbly.

“You will after you read the letter. Meet me downstairs as soon as you're finished. I'll gather your things.”

His words barely registered as I tore into your letter. It frightened and angered me! All the insanity you had to endure because Ameliorene's ambitions and Winterfast's greed! Above all, I couldn't believe what occurred with Damorin! I know what it's like to have one's magic tampered with, but to be so emotionally involved in the situation, I could not imagine the agony you were going through! I immediately felt guilty over wallowing in my own self pity for so long.

I rushed down the stairs to Sean's room where he was stuffing my things into a bag. “Well?” he asked, without turning.

“Well, what?”

“Now that you've read the letter, do you think you can muster up enough interest in Cordy's welfare to go home?”

The hurt and confusion I'd felt before were nothing to how his words struck me now. “Yes, I think I can manage,” I replied from behind clenched teeth. I walked over and tried to snatch the bag from his fingers.

“I'm almost done,” he protested, finally looking at me.

“Yes,” I said, glaring up at him, “but I don't need your help. Ever.”

He let go of the bag and spoke harshly. “No, you don't, do you?”

I packed the remainder of my things as he towered over me in hostile silence. I wanted to cry my eyes out, but I would not give him the satisfaction—although why that would give him satisfaction, I couldn't guess! Hadn't he professed a weakness for me only days earlier? Hadn't he kissed me senseless just before leaving for the city simply because he couldn't help himself?

What had happened to cause the change in him, I wondered? What had I done to make him so angry and bitter towards me? I felt as though there was something I was missing, that he had given me all the clues, but I could not think clearly. I cinched the drawstring of the bag and looked up at him in appeal.

I don't know how long we stared into each other's eyes before his posture relaxed and his eyes softened a little. When I reached up to touch him, though, the hardness returned and he stayed my hand by clutching it around the wrist. His lips curled in a sneer as he pulled me closer and slipped his arm around me in what felt like a mocking embrace. Before I could push away, he leaned over and whispered a transport spell.

Like a sudden rush of flame, the magic inside me responded. Through it, I could see Sean's spell weaving around us as we slowly vanished from the dimensions of his room and reappeared in the midst of rocky terrain. The spell was good, I could see that, but my magic wanted to make it faster, stronger. It wanted release.

I stepped out of Sean's arms, gasping. “You could have warned me,” I said, catching my breath as the spell faded.

“Sorry,” he said, not sounding sorry in the least, “but the last time we transported together, you were practically begging for it. Besides, judging from your recent adventures, it's not as though you have an aversion to using magic,” he said, “whatever the cost.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked.

“What do you think it means?” he replied, but his attention had turned to something behind me. It wasn't until I stopped glaring at him and turned to see what he was looking at that I realized where we were. We were at the troll cave in the middle of the Pass.

I knew I wasn't over what had happened, but I hadn't thought about how I would feel if and when I returned. As I stared, I could see Arturo's still form, dozens of glowing eyes, your face smothered in blue light, and finally Muse as his body shuddered and grew still. I covered my face with my hands, trying to block out the memory, and forced myself to take slow, deep breaths. Finally, I opened my eyes and looked up.

“Why are we here?” I asked in a weak voice.

“I told you we had to make a stop on our way back to the city. Why, what's wrong?”

“Nothing,” I lied. “I was just…remembering.”

“Remembering what?” he demanded.

“I don’t really want to talk about it.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “This is where you battled the wraiths isn’t it?”

I wondered how he knew about my ordeal before it suddenly dawned on me. Damorin Ardaya had told him. I nodded slowly.

“Well then,” he said, “you should enjoy being here, to bask in the glory of your heroic deed.”

I started to cry. “I was no hero, Sean,” I explained.

“Oh, on the contrary, Magi,” he went on, relentless, “Ardaya gave me a detailed account of what occurred.”

“Did he?” I demanded, stepping closer. “And did he tell you that my little muse was the one who ultimately made the sacrifice?”

He waved my question away impatiently. “You both chose to make the sacrifice! He was merely the one who finally performed it, but you had already chosen to do so! Admit it!”

I raised my chin. “Yes, gladly!”

“Why?” he demanded, barely controlling himself. “In heaven’s name, why?”

I frantically brushed tears from my face and answered him. “Because it’s the only thing I’ve ever had the chance to do that’s truly worthwhile!”

“And what about the people you would have left behind? What of them?”

“I was doing it for them!”

“How do you think they would have felt, knowing you had sacrificed yourself for them? Do you think they could have been anything but miserable for the rest of their lives?” He didn't wait for me to answer, but went on, pacing back and forth with angry strides. “You have absolutely no concept of your own consequence, Foofri! You think you’re some little nobody who has no significance in the world, but what you don’t understand is that…”

He stopped pacing and came to me, gripping me hard by the shoulders. “What you don’t understand,” he repeated, “is that...” His voice faded into a whisper as he looked at me. He looked in my eyes, he looked at my mouth. With a glance, he followed the tears flowing down my cheeks. Finally, he looked down at my hands which were clenched in his shirt, and suddenly all the rage shuddered out of him.

Even so, his grip on me tightened. “What you don't understand is that I don't ever want you to leave me behind.” Then he pulled me into his arms and kissed me.

Part of me wanted to resist-wanted to push him away for all the hurt he'd caused, but that was forgotten once his lips touched mine. Because he'd just given me the clue I'd been missing. And as he held me close and tilted my head back to deepen the kiss, all the snide remarks and bitterness and mocking looks became perfectly clear.

“If you were so frightened about losing me, why didn't you just say so?” I panted, when he pulled away to give us some air.

“I'm sorry,” he breathed, “but I've never been in love before. And I don't know what to do with a girl like you.”

“A girl like me?” I questioned.

“One who wants to save the world.”

“I wasn't thinking about saving the world,” I replied, “only the people I love. But now that you mention it...”

He put his fingers over my lips. “Let's forget I mentioned it.”

I pulled his fingers away. “I only wanted to say that-”

“Don't,” he said, taking my face in his hands. He looked at me tenderly and sighed. “Do you have any idea how difficult it was for me to leave you a few days ago? I could barely think of anything but you while I was in the city, knowing you were living in my home, cooking in my kitchen, and sleeping in my bed. The thought of you doing experiments in my personal workroom, and I couldn't even be there to watch, nearly drove me to distraction.

“When Ardaya came back from the Pass and told me everything that had happened and what you'd almost done,” he paused, shutting his eyes against the memory. “Well, let's just say, I haven't been myself until now, Foofri.”

“I'm sorry,” I said, putting my arms around his neck. “But it had to be done and there was no one else to do it.”

“But if I had been there to do it for you, you'd have done everything you could to prevent me.”

“That's true,” I admitted, “but I could say the same about you.”

“That's different,” he said.

“Why, because you're the man?”

“No,” he replied warily, “it's different because...er...” He looked at me and grimaced. “Actually, let's discuss this later.” He looked at the cave again. “The trolls caught Gavin Farnswall in the Pass, trying to sneak across the border. They've been holding him for me and I've got to transport him to Fort Thunderhall for questioning.”

The abrupt turn in conversation surprised me. “That's why we needed to stop here?”

“I'm sorry,” he nodded. “I didn't think about how difficult it would be for you. Fortunately, we have to leave immediately. Ardaya is probably waiting for us right now.”

“You're meeting Damorin Ardaya at the Fort?”

“Yes, he's there questioning Ben right now.”

“Good,” I said, thinking about your letter, “there are a few things I would like to say to Master Damorin Ardaya.”

“You probably won't see him. He’s in a hurry to leave town.”

“He’s leaving?”

“Yes, he accepted an ambassador position to Nirabia.”

“Nirabia! But what about the hostilities?”

“The Nirabian government always blamed the Realm for the difficulties in the Pass. Now that everything is right again and the Pass is open, they’ve agreed to renew what was once a mutually beneficial alliance. Ardaya jumped at the chance to open relations.”

He looked hard at me to see how I would react, but I didn't know what to say. There was too much information crowding my thoughts.

“Excuse me a moment, will you?” He ducked into the cave and returned a few minutes later with a very quiet and very sullen Gavin Farnswall. His hands were tied behind his back and he limped slightly as though his legs had been tied as well. I thought he would at least look at me, but he carefully averted his eyes. I hoped it was shame for all he'd done, but as far as I could tell, he was only angry that he'd been caught.

Sean glanced apologetically at me as he placed one hand on Gavin's shoulder and one on mine for the transport spell. I braced myself for the inevitable rush of magic and had to pull away again, gasping for control, once we appeared at the Fort.

Sean took my arm again and led us both inside. He leaned down to whisper in my ear, “You'll have to tell me what that's all about later.” After descending the long stairway into the main keep, Sean excused himself and took Gavin down a long corridor where Damorin and Jamin were supposedly waiting.

I was supposed to wait until he returned, but part of me couldn't resist following. If I had a chance to give Damorin Ardaya a piece of my mind, I wanted to take it, and if Sean scolded me for waltzing around a military stronghold unescorted and for not minding my own business, I would simply remind him that at least I was not battling wraiths.

My first instinct was to go invisible and follow them, just like I'd followed my father into the woods, but the instant the words for the invisibility spell filled my head, the magic inside me roared like a caged beast and left me staggering against the stone wall of the passage. After a few minutes of deep breaths and determined shushing, it fell silent again. Picking up my skirts, I hunched over and crept quietly down the passageway, working my way towards a light at what I thought was the end.

As I crept nearer and the light grew slowly bigger, I realized that it was moving towards me! I slipped into a darkened side passage and waited for whoever it was to pass. Soon, I could hear voices.

“I don't see why I had to do that,” one voice said, “the Emperor already declared me innocent.”

“Testifying against Lieutenant Farnswall is hardly the most distasteful activity you've engaged in recently,” said the other voice. “Besides, he was merely an informer, his punishment won't be nearly as grave as the princess's or your grandfather's. Not that I believe you're at all concerned about them since you've somehow managed to downplay your own involvement.”

Light spilled into the cross passage as the voices grew louder. The two forms of Damorin Ardaya and Jamin Winterfast suddenly appeared and came to a stop. I shrank back into the darkness and tried to breathe silently.

“You don't know anything about my involvement,” Jamin said, indignantly. “My only concern is for Cordelimaera, who,” he paused to pull out a pocket watch, “is probably waiting for me right now. Jalwa,” he exclaimed, “the woman is insatiable!”

Before he could replace his watch, Damorin had him pinned against the wall next to me. “I don't know what story you've concocted to convince her of your innocence and genuine affection,” he said, “but you and I both know you're nothing but a lazy, conniving, power-hungry opportunist.” His voice was cold and calm, but with an edge so menacing it frightened me.

“No,” Jamin sniveled. “I'm in love with her.”

“No, you're not,” replied Damorin, in the same voice. He leaned in, moving his fingers to Jamin's throat. “And you're to stay away from her from now on.”

“That's her choice to make, not yours,” Jamin managed to squeak out.

“I'm making it my choice,” Damorin said, gripping Jamin's neck ever tighter.

“Yes, all right!” Jamin gasped, his face turning red. He suddenly fell forward as Damorin released him, then pushed himself upright as his breathing returned to normal. He glared at Damorin and straightened his clothing. “Of course, you'll have no way of knowing if I keep my word once you're in Nirabia,” he said foolishly.

Damorin smiled cruelly. “I have ways.”

“Even so. You won't be here and there will be nothing you can do.”

“Try me,” Damorin replied, making it clear that he'd like nothing better.

Jamin clenched his trembling hands and rolled his eyes with what was obviously false bravado. “I was only funning,” he said, unable to hide the nervousness in his voice. “You're such a stiff, no wonder Maera can't stand you.”

A nearly imperceptible flicker crossed Damorin's otherwise impervious expression. “I assume you know your way out,” he said.

Jamin bent forward in an exaggerated bow. “Master,” he said, sneering, and walked away.

I shut my eyes and willed Damorin to follow him, but a light fell across my face and I knew I was caught.

“Magi?” came a voice, and I opened my eyes to see Damorin offering me his arm.

“Oh, thank you,” I stammered as I took it. “I must have taken a wrong turn.” When he looked down at me with a skeptical glance I decided against prevaricating. “No, I followed Sean Valerian down this passage in hopes of finding you, actually. I didn't mean to eavesdrop.”

“I was rather surprised to see you there, skulking in the shadows,” he said, leading me back to the keep.

“You hid it well.”

“I was preoccupied,” he replied, his eyes flashing briefly. “You said you wanted to see me?”

I couldn’t help saying the first thing that came into my head. “You’re breaking Cordy's heart, you know.”

“Yes,” he said, clenching his teeth, “I am aware of that.”

“Aren’t you going to do anything about it?”

“There's nothing I can do about it.”

“But I thought that you...aren't you..?” I searched for the right words. “Don’t you even care?”

Damorin bowed his head, his mask of control momentarily in abeyance. “Of course I care…and I do want her to be happy…” He looked back up, cold determination returning full force. “But it's for her own good! She'll get over it, in time.”

“She's not fickle. I promise you, she won't get over it.”

“Look,” he said, obviously wanting to end the conversation, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.”

“But-”

“Will you tell her that?”

“No, no I won’t! You should at least go and explain everything to her before you leave. She deserves an explanation, don’t you think?”

“I can't,” he said, shaking his head. “I leave tonight.”

“You could talk to her before you leave! I’m going to her house as soon as I finish here. You can escort me.”

He looked apologetic. “You’re not leaving yet, actually. Lastra wants a word with you before you go. And your father will be here soon as well. He doesn’t want you questioned out of his presence.”

“I’m to be questioned? Is there something wrong?”

“No, it’s a debriefing, that’s all. Lastra wants a few more details on what occurred during the reclaiming of the Pass. There was more riding on that than you know and they’ll need to get a statement.”

I sighed in compliance. “I guess I should have expected something like this.”

“I’m sorry. I know it hasn’t been easy.”

“You could make it easier on me…I mean to say…I would rest easier if you would….”

“All right,” he reluctantly agreed. “If I have a chance to see her, I will.” And then he was gone. I stared after him, not knowing what to think about him at all.

But I didn’t get to think for long because all of a sudden my father came rushing into the room and gathered me up in his arms. “Daddy!” I breathed, clutching him as tightly as I could.

He held me for a long time. “Foofri,” he said, choking up, “I don’t think I can remember the last time you called me that.” We beamed at each other and continued to hug. “I’m so proud of my girl,” he whispered, “but if you even think of doing anything like that again….”

“I've already been lectured,” I reassured him, immensely touched by the tears threatening to spill down his cheeks. “And I promise not to do anything like that again.”

He dabbed at his eyes and composed himself. “I'd love to take you to see your cousin right now,” he said, “but you'll have to see Cordy in the morning. Lastra is waiting for us.”

He led me to a nicely furnished sitting room off of the main hall where Lastra sat behind a large desk. “Magi Montphish,” he said, gesturing to the tufted sofa covered in pillows. “Please, sit down.”

I sat down and told him the whole story right from when I summoned Muse with my mirror experiment. Lastra listened carefully, nodding his head as though everything made sense, until I came to a stop.

“That was very helpful, but there is one thing that isn’t quite clear,” he said. “This muse creature, when he was dying but you could still feel his magic? What was it he said again?"

I'd purposefully been vague during that part, hoping he wouldn't question me further, but I suppose he isn't the head of the Underground for nothing. Still, I didn't know how to explain exactly what had happened so I continued to be vague. "I can't really remember for sure,” I mumbled. “He was fading rapidly and it was something like...I dunno...it was...some kind of something or other...his magic was inside me now nonsense blah blah blah and he was pretty out of it so...."

"A moment, please, Magi," Lastra cut off my rambling. He furrowed his brow, going over my ambiguous remarks in his head. He squinted his eyes and slowly repeated the significant words, punctuating each one with his pointed finger, "'His magic was inside you.' That's what he said?"

“I’m not sure, really,” I replied, starting to shake a little with nervousness.

“You don’t know if you have his magic inside you?”

I didn't answer.

“What happens when you invoke a spell?” he continued.

I chewed my lip in response.

My father came and put his arm around me. “Foofri, what is it?”

“I....”

“Yes?”

"I..."

"Go on," urged Lastra.

I stood up then and wailed, “I don’t know! I haven't used magic yet!” Then I threw myself back onto the little sofa and began blubbering into a decorative pillow.

“There's no need for histrionics,” Lastra scolded (poor man, he obviously has no daughters). “Please calm yourself!"

"You want calm?" I demanded, looking up in between sobs. "Then you should leave me alone and let me go home!"

"I'm sorry, I can't allow that until we get some clarification!" He kept eying my father as though he expected him to step in and shake some sense into me. "So you haven't used magic yet."

“I just said that, didn't I? How many times must I repeat myself?”

“Excuse me, I just wanted to make sure I heard you correctly!”

“Well, you did!”

My father looked embarrassed that I would talk to Lastra in such a way, but he looked annoyed at Lastra for putting his precious daughter through an interrogation. “No need for anyone to get upset,” he said. “Let’s discuss this calmly." He pulled me from my tantrum position and clasped my hand reassuringly. "Foofri, take your time. Just tell us exactly what has happened.”

“It’s huge,” I began, panting heavily. “The power is awesome…I…I don’t know if I can control it!”

“So you can feel it?” Lastra pressed.

“Yes! Yes. It’s terrifying. I do everything I can to just ignore it, to suppress it, but the only thing that works is to not do any magic at all.”

“So you haven’t even tried the basic fire spell?”

“Are you mad? Trying to light a fire with potentially uncontrollable magic?”

“Well, you’ve got to try something sometime!”

I jumped up in defiance. “No, I don’t!”

“You are an Official Magi of the Realm,” he said in that no-nonsense, guilt inspiring tone. “You don’t just ignore your magic!”

“Well, it isn’t my magic!” I yelled.

“It is now!” he yelled back.

I winced, closing my eyes, and slumped back onto the sofa. “Can’t you…make it go away?”

“Not without killing you in the process.”

“Eesh, why does it always come to that?”

“That’s the nature of magic, isn’t it?” he said. “It’s a life-force.”

I threw my hands up in a futile gesture. “So now what?”

“The only thing I can suggest is that you continue your studies.”

“I can’t walk into class with this…this thing inside me!”

“Under my personal tutelage, Magi,” he clarified.

“Oh.”

“And I’ll be your tenth year advisor.”

“Aha.”

“You will report directly to me for everything.”

“Huh.”

“Does that help alleviate some of the burden?”

“Yes,” I said, thinking that it also made me downright nervous. “A little.”

“Foofri!” my father said, sharply.

“I’m sorry, Master,” I said to Lastra. “You’re being very generous, I know, but I had hoped there would be a way to reverse what happened.” He handed me a dry handkerchief for my tear-streaked face and I began wiping.

“No, you're just going to have to learn to live with it,” he said. “And who knows? It may turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you. Also, I'm sure your father will be glad to know you're in good hands while he's in Nirabia.”

I stopped wiping. "Wait a moment,” I said, turning to my father. “You're going to Nirabia?”

“I was just going to tell you,” he replied. “I'm leaving with the entourage tonight.”

I blew my nose into the handkerchief and wadded it into a ball. “I've yet to be in the Realm for even an hour and everyone is leaving for Nirabia. What is it with that country?" I demanded, tossing the wet handkerchief onto Lastra's desk. "The borders open and no one cares about the Realm anymore! Why worry about your civic duty when you can go and enjoy all those scantily clad belly dancers rolling golden coins off their oiled stomachs!" I shook my finger at my father. "That's why you're going, isn't it?"

My father rolled his eyes. "The Realm needs a representative from the Underground network to go. Since the borders are open, we know they'll be sending spies in first thing so, naturally, we must retaliate. And Foofri," he added, "I'm not only going in the capacity of a spy. This opportunity could be very lucrative for us, financially. I plan to corner the market on flying carpets, now that they'll be readily available again. It's the perfect cover."

"And what about me?" I said, indignantly.

"Don't tell me you want to go, too," Lastra grumbled.

"No, I do not. I'm merely wondering what is to happen to me once everyone I know is gone?"

Lastra gave an impatient grunt at my exaggeration. "I'll let you work that out with your father. Other than that, I'll see you in my office at the Justicum on the first day of classes. Understood?"

"Yes, Master," I said (almost meekly).

"And I'll see you there," he gestured to my father, "in an hour's time. He left then, looking very relieved to do so.

"Foofri," my father said, "I know this comes as a surprise, but I've given it a lot of thought and I truly think this is the best way for us right now."

"I know, and I can see the wisdom in it, but I'll be all alone!"

"You'll be at school. Tenth year, which is always the most rigorous. I'm sure I wouldn't see that much of you anyway. And you'll have Cordy, my dear. I've already arranged for you to stay with her when you're not at school." He put his arm around me. "I'll be back well before graduation, I promise. And there will be a few visits as well, holidays and the like. You can come out to Nirabia for Christmas."

“I've always wanted to go,” I admitted, slipping my arm around his waist. “I guess this is my chance.”

He smiled down at me. "Let's go home and get my trunk and you can see me off at the Justicum, mmm?"

Sometime later, I sat on the Justicum steps, watching the assembly to Nirabia--an assortment of horses, carriages, and wagons-drive off into the night. My father waved until I couldn't see him anymore. Saying goodbye isn't nearly as bad when one is in a familiar place, I decided.

It also probably helped that Lastra and Sean were there to say goodbye with me. The more I thought about working with Lastra, the better I felt about my new magic. If anyone could help me, he could.

As the Nirabian entourage disappeared, Lastra and Sean spoke quietly for a few minutes before Lastra bid us farewell and slipped into the Justicum. Sean stood up and held out his hand to me. “Come on, I'll take you home,” he said. We walked in silence until we were nearly at my house.

“You know, I half expected you to be going to Nirabia, too,” I said. “I know how much you love traveling and studying magic from other countries.”

He shrugged. “I've been before,” he said. “And I'll go again sometime. But right now, it looks like I actually have something to stay in one place for.”

I blushed, knowing where the conversation was heading. “You do?” I asked innocently.

“Of course,” he said, giving me a sidelong glance. “While I was retrieving you from the Outskirts, Ardaya and Lastra secured me a teaching position at the Academy. I'll be teaching Advanced Theoretics and an Introduction to International Magic. It's a great opportunity to make some changes around here.”

“Oh,” I replied flatly, not bothering to hide my disappointment. “Of course. That's really wonderful.”

“Isn't it, though?” he said, not seeming to realize what he'd said. We came to my door and I rushed to open it, but he pulled me back and took me into his arms. “Foofri,” he whispered, “do you really think I'd stay for any reason but you?”

I pulled back and looked into his eyes. “Wouldn't you?”

“No,” he shook his head. “Yes, teaching is a great opportunity. And there are other attractions to staying in the city, but I confess the greatest inducement is being close to you. I nearly went crazy being away from you for a few days, I can't imagine what a month or longer would be like.”

“Then why didn't you say so in the first place?”

He sighed. “Because I promised your father.”

“Not that again!” I wailed.

“He and I have an understanding about you,” he explained. “I told him exactly how I feel about you and what he can expect in the future. He made his own expectations clear--what the rules are, etc.-- and I plan to stick to them faithfully until he returns.”

I slid my fingers into his hair and tilted my face up. “Please tell me he didn't lay down rules about kissing.”

He pulled me in tighter. “No, not specifically, I think he trusts my judgment.”

“Does he know how easily persuaded you are on that count?”

“I am no such thing,” he said as he lowered his head.

“If you say so,” I replied just before his lips covered mine.

A half an hour later, we said goodnight. Saying goodbye earlier in the evening to my father hadn't been as bad as I thought it would be, and saying goodnight to Sean wasn't bad at all!

And here I sit, at my old, trusty desk, to pen this letter. It's so odd, I haven't penned one here since I received that strange secret missive at the council meeting where you were conspicuously missing and I ended up burning poor Lady Lucinda's hat while trying to ward off a probe from Damorin Ardaya! Dearest, what an adventure we've had!

The hour is late, so I may get to you before you have a chance to read this, but the action of putting my life down in ink for you is so familiar to me now, I'm going to do it anyway. I will probably even miss it from time to time, but I won't wish another adventure on us quite yet.

With much love and anticipation,

Foofri

P.S. I hope Damorin came to see you earlier this evening. He was noticeably absent from the entourage, and it gave me great hope that he ended up staying in the Realm and that things between you two are on the mend. I couldn't bear it if I was the only one happy in love.

Thank you, dear readers, for following our story, and an extra big thank you to those who took the time and effort to leave comments. The comments were wonderful and really kept us going! As a reward for anyone who leaves a comment on this final chapter of their story, I am offering a Sean/Foofri bonus scene from Foofri's private journal. Please leave your email address with your comment (the comment will be published, the email will be kept private) and I'll send the scene. Again, thank you for reading!   

Sincerely, 

Solsticia Quartermanus

University of New Pasifica